Mario Bros: A Tale of Crime and Brutality in the Streets and Sewers
by zippadeedoodah
Summary: Mario leads his gang in the classic battle against Bowser. A plan is launched, with the help of Yoshi and Luigi, to defeat Bowser once and for all and win the affections of Princess Peach along the way. A dark comedy for fans of crime stories and gangster dramas.
1. Chapter 1

Mario Bros: A Tale of Crime and Brutality in the Streets and Sewers of Mushroom Kingdom

Mario stroked the nine millimeter he had come to call his most trusted companion. Sure, he had men with AK-47s and revolvers at his command, but his gun was reliable, personal even. It never squealed to the fuzz or botched a job. And as the leader, the godfather, of the largest gang in Mushroom Kingdom, Mario had learned to value these qualities.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts. In walked Yoshi, Mario's right hand man. Yoshi was a bright green cheerful dinosaur who was quick to smile and even quicker to stick a knife in your gut. Mario had watched over Yoshi since he was just a hatchling and trained him to become his most loyal and deadly follower.

Yoshi was in charge of the new recruits, the Koopas and Goombas who thought they could live it up while being a gangster. Very few ended up staying long enough to see the right side of a gun.

"Bad news boss," Yoshi began. "Goombario's dead. Four bullets to the head. Some of our guys found his body on the edge of Donut Plains."

Damn, Mario thought as he leaned back in his chair. His guys had been dropping off like flies recently. That could only mean one thing. Bowser, so called "King of the Koopas". His gang was constantly fighting with the Mario Bros over turf, guns and money.

Bowser had his own personal castle located far north of Mushroom Kingdom, but he had several subordinates that operated in and around Mushroom Kingdom's cities. Bowser's minions included Chain Chomps, Piranha Plants, Boos, Koopas, Goombas, the occasional Shy Guy, and a host of other thieves, murderers and hired guns at his disposal.

Worst of all were the Magikoopas. There had been many a time Mario had plugged a few rounds in the robed, bespectacled monsters, only to see them disappear, and turn around just in time to dodge a colorful assortment of deadly shapes whirling at his head. The rare occasion one of the damned things was killed, its body would vanish in a puff of smoke.

Mario had men on his side too, Toads, Yoshis, Koopas, Goombas, Shy Guys, Bomb-Ombs; but Bowser always seemed to outnumber him 10 to 1.

And lately the situation was getting tense. More suspicious looking characters than ever could be seen wandering the streets of Mushroom City and Toad Town at night. Some people swore that the cacti in the Dry Dry Desert were moving. Mario heard strange things coming out of Donut Plains and the caves. Disappearances, strange looking creatures. This city and kingdom was getting out of Mario's control.

"Tell the guys to lay low for a while," Mario said, "Tell them we got something in the works to pay Bowser back big time."

Yoshi nodded curtly, turning to leave.

"Do we have something boss?" Yoshi added with all the subtlety of a green dinosaur wearing bright red shoes.

"I just might have something that could change our luck", Mario said, leaving back in his Italian leather chair.

And Mario did have a seed of an idea beginning to sprout in his head, like a particularly nasty Piranha Plant. This newly germinating idea depended on finding out where his slimy rat of a brother was at. Luigi is a man with all the mystery of a Shy Guy, the cunning of a Boo, and the freakish surprise of a Monty Mole.

Mario and Luigi had been through everything together, but there was always a bit of the unknown about Luigi. Who was this guy? Luigi had dozens of contacts, but none of them knew him. Mario, his own brother, only knew enough to say that Luigi's jump was a bit higher and preferred green to red.

Luigi had always been content to stay in Mario's shadow, but he came and went as he pleased. Mario felt like Luigi had the utmost loyalty to the Mario Bros. But then again, Luigi was a professional conman. He was slick. A little too slick.

At all times Luigi carried a pistol with a silencer. That was nothing special in Mario's world. The way Luigi handled it though, that was very special indeed. Luigi had no qualms about ending a conversation with a swift bullet to the head. He didn't say much and never said what he truly thought. Some people said he was a genius. Others said he was crazy. Either way, people tended to stay on his good side.

Luigi was last rumored to be wandering around The Forest of Illusion. Only God knows what he was doing in there. He would be back soon though. He somehow always knew when he was needed for a job. Luigi would probably know how to flesh out Mario's plan.

Meanwhile, Mario had plenty of things to do while waiting for Luigi. Namely, the foul temptress who had been haunting his dreams. Princess Peach. Mario always wanted what he couldn't have. Princess Peach was a prime example. They had had very limited contact. After all, he was a crime lord and she was a candy coated princess living in a ridiculously large castle with an army of servants and her creepy pedophilic advisor of a toad.

Princess Peach was something of an enigma. She left the castle often enough, but was never seen anywhere in Mushroom Kingdom. No one knew what exactly she did. Perhaps that explained Mario's deliciously unhealthy obsession with the cotton candy glob of a princess. He wanted to know if she really was the sweet naïve princess everyone thought, or if she had a dark side.

Mario had the castle staked out to find out her comings and goings, and thought now was the perfect time to start laying some groundwork with the seductive siren in pink.

Mario got up from his chair and threw on his battered trench coat over his ridiculously expensive suit. He had all of his suits hand stolen from only the best shops in town.

Normally Mario would be wearing his plumbers' overalls. He always remembered where he had come from. But business was business, and classing it up was necessary when representing his Bros. However, he was never seen without his hat. His trademark cap, carefully drawn over one eye. A ridiculous "M" was emblazoned on the front of the bright red cap. As if people didn't know who he was. When Mario wore it however, the effect was sobering, even disturbing in its clownish appearance. The darkened, aged blood splatter stain around the rim was a nice touch.

Mario moseyed on up to the side of the castle where the Princess' rooms happened to be, satisfied that the guards he had bribed were gleefully rubbing their coins together. It would be a unpleasant surprise for them when they found out they were fake.

Mario had on good word that the Princess liked to saunter about on her exquisitely crafted balcony before turning in for the night. And there she was, a beacon of confectionary sweetness, gazing at the stars. Or something like that.

Mario sidled out of the shadows smoothly, saying "Nice night for a stroll, isn't it?" with a self-assured smirk on his classically handsome face. With his expertly manicured moustache, mysteriously twinkling brown eyes and a strong chiseled jaw, he struck a devilishly handsome figure. Or so he had been told, anyway.

Princess Peach slowly turned to look at him, disinterested and unsurprised, it seemed.

"Perhaps if one enjoys lurking in the shadows long after his bedtime", she said, monotone.

Mario felt his smooth demeanor starting to slip ever so slightly. Time to engage in witty banter and effervescent charm.

"Or if one enjoys meeting Princesses under the, shall we say, romantic light of the stars?" 

The princess then looked at him more seriously. A quick appraisal as she noted the suit, the ridiculous trench coat, and perhaps the bulge of a holster at his hip. Mario hoped she noted the expensive watch that was just counterfeited. She met his eyes and he gave her his most disarming smile.

Next thing Mario knew, he was starting down the barrel of a sleek pistol.

"I suggest that you run away as fast as you can before I shoot your knees out, pervert".

The Princess said this calmly, with a grim sort of satisfaction.

Mario barely contained his instinctual urge to whip out his own gun and plug a few rounds into every living thing in the vicinity.

"Sweetheart, really this is all just a-".

He jumped in midsentence as the Princess's warning shot landed mere inches away from his left toe. Taking aim for his skull, she simply whispered, "Run".

Mario then did what he had never done before in his life. He turned his back and ran from a prospective gunfight. Walking back through his streets Mario was not dejected. In fact, he was more intrigued by the bubblegum princess than ever. As he made his way back to the picturesque cottage his lived in at the edge of town, he was even smiling. He would win the enigmatic princess even if it killed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Luigi slid his knife out of the Wiggler that had been unlucky enough to cross his path. He wasn't really much of a knife guy, who was these days? Guns were just so much more efficient. Luigi wasn't particularly into the act of killing either, like Bowser's crew and his own brother and the Bros. However he was good at killing. And being good at it meant money, mushrooms, and most importantly, the freedom to do whatever he wanted. So he liked to practice with a knife from time to time.

People feared Luigi in Mushroom Kingdom. He knew that. He didn't mind. On the occasion he stayed for extended periods in Mushroom City or Toad Town, he preferred walking the streets at night. That was when things got interesting, away from the eyes of most of the world.

But now he was in the Forest of Illusion. With a freshly dead Wiggler. Luigi hated those damn things, always getting in the way like the bumbling idiots they were. Simple creatures. He left the Wiggler body, something in the Forest would eat it or use it somehow, that was how the Forest was.

He turned and started the walk back to the Ghost House he had been staying at. He and the Boos had an understanding, a truce of sorts for the past few years. Luigi was one of the few residents of the Kingdom that the Boos feared, mostly due to his uncanny ability to kill the ghosts, something few others had managed. But Luigi respected the Boos and their ways. They worked for no one, but helped or hurt where they saw fit. Sometimes for a cause, sometimes for a price. Luigi liked to think he fit in with that way of life, despite being the only brother to the leader of the most recognizable gang in the Kingdom.

Luigi had been in the Forest for a while now. Not with any real intent or purpose, just walking the trees and learning what he could from the Boos and the occasional Shy Guy that would talk to him. He suspected that Mario was itching to know where he was and what he was doing. Probably time to get back to him and see what sort of perverse tasks he had for him.

Mario gave him the type of jobs that would cause other killers stomachs to turn. Important jobs though. Luigi didn't mind the difficult or cruel or morally unclear tasks though. It helped him to cultivate the reputation of a man who would do anything. Anything. Not many people had that kind of reputation to fall back on. Not many people would willingly engage with a man of that reputation.

Luigi didn't really care about Mario's cause, or the gang, or the rising tension between the gangs. He was satisfied doing Mario's bidding from time to time and spending the rest of his time doing whatever the hell he wanted. He wasn't a plumber anymore, and he wasn't beholden to any man, Koopa or Goomba anymore either. He had fear, which was better and longer lasting than respect, and he had freedom, which was better than coins and power. Although he wasn't hurting for coins either.

But he did get bored of things eventually. And that was always a good time to head back to the cities and towns that Mario thought he ruled. He'd start the trip back tomorrow and see what part he could play in Mario's plans for the Kingdom. Mario always had a plan.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mario twirled the ends of his mustache, thinking carefully. He knew what he had to do eventually, but his plan relied on waiting things out with Bowser for now. But his men were restless. They joined a gang to kill and cheat and steal and threaten. Not sit around and wait for more cunning minds to orchestrate complicated plans. Their worlds involved little else than getting enough coin to get their rocks off, whether that involved buying more guns, drinks, or a Lady Koopa of the night. Small minded.

Mario couldn't be small minded though. He had bigger plans to carry out, whether he wanted to or not.

He looked across his desk, where Yoshi stood, staring back. Mario sometimes wondered if there was anything at all going on behind those beady little eyes. He loved the dinosaur like the son he never had, and who could blame him? Yoshi had been there at the start of it all, when the plumbing days ended and the days of crime began.

But seriously, that dinosaur could stare for hours on end, just waiting for an order.

"I'd like you to put all the newest recruits on schedules to patrol the sewers and streets," Mario said. "Mix it up and keep them busy. I don't expect to find much; the city has been ours for a while. Maybe intimidate a few shop owners, that sort of thing."

Mario turned to look at the map that hung behind his desk.

"As for you, I'd like you to take charge of leading some expeditions. Recruiting missions in name, but scouting in nature. Take groups into Donut Plains and Chocolate Island. See if there's anyone who wants to join the cause. Typical promises of coins and glory, of course. Make sure to steer clear of Vanilla Dome. There's nothing good in those caves, never has been."

Mario had an involuntary shudder. He had spent too much time in the early years in the caves, and frankly it was a miracle he had gotten out alive. Sometimes it felt as if he had multiple chances at life, the way he narrowly dodged everything from getting crushed to death to the things that lived in the Dome. It was almost as if an invisible force had pushed him out of the caves. And he had no intent of ever returning.

"If you end up with new recruits, that's great," Mario said. "But I want you to keep your ears and eyes peeled for the latest news on Bowser's reach. He's stayed out of the city, but I expect he's expanding elsewhere."

"Of course boss," Yoshi said. "You want me to make these trips quick?"

Mario leaned back again, moustache twirling recommenced. "No need, the bigger plan is going to take a while to get under way."

Yoshi nodded and left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

With Yoshi gone and his generic but capable Koopa leaders, Kooper and Koops, leading his guys around on busywork missions, Mario finally had some time to breathe. For the last week he had spent his days strolling around the piers of Toad Town's port and placing some small coin bets at the gambling dens on the west edge of town.

After a particularly nice and violent day of watching Bob-omb races, Mario returned to his house, his cottage residence he kept a closely guarded secret. He and Luigi used to call it Pipe House, on account of the drug paraphernalia that used to litter the area in the early days of the gang. Later Pipe House would be an accurate nickname due to the crude weapons his gang started out with.

Mario was nostalgic for those days, life was simple when the gang was just about peddling some crack and breaking a few skulls to get enough coin to get by. Now every day was about guns, guns, and more guns, turf, and resorting to complicated schemes to get what you needed.

Now Pipe House was still a good name. Mario came back to the house for an escape. In the city, in his office, in the streets, and in front of the members of his gang and the general public, he was a leader, a boss, a figure to be feared and respected. And admired for his timeless taste in counterfeited fashion.

At the house, he could be transported, albeit briefly. Imagine a different career path that didn't involve bullying suburban Goombas or having to mop up a Koopa's innards when a deal went wrong. Maybe he could have traveled, seen the strangeness at the Dry Dry Outpost, or visit Yoshi's Village. Maybe he still could.

Although he might skip Yoshi's Village. It took Yoshi an abominably long time to grasp speaking, much less get enough brainpower to not run off immediately as soon as Mario's back was turned. He couldn't imagine a whole village of untrained dinosaur dolts.

That was all dreams and conjecture though. In reality, Mario's house was at least a sanctuary of sorts, a brief recess from the pressure of gang life.

As Mario opened the door and entered his house, he immediately had an uneasy lurch in his stomach. The feeling of knowing something is wrong. He paused right inside the doorway, listening, thinking, looking. Even smelling. He could smell a poison mushroom a mile away and wouldn't put it past many of his enemies to plant something in his house. Nothing was off that he could notice.

He still stood there for a full minute, and another one. He may have been a reckless, dashing young rogue once, but now he was much more seasoned and careful. Still just as dashing though.

Cautiously stepping forward, Mario started a quick walk around. Everything was exactly in place; he was the type to notice if something wasn't. Somewhat satisfied, he went to go throw his coat on his desk.

The desk chair turned quickly, and before Mario could even think about pulling a gun, he registered a familiar face.

"Hey brother," Luigi said.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Mario swirled his glass, the ice cubes gently clinking. The whiskey inside was from a distillery deep in Dinosaur Land, supposedly the best and only place to get the finest and best tasting whiskey. He didn't care about that though. He just liked the aesthetic of sitting at a nice desk and looking pensive while sipping on an expensive glass of alcohol.

Luigi sat across from him, with only a glass of water. Luigi never drank as far as Mario knew. Probably wanted to keep sharp or something. Luigi probably had more enemies than Mario could even imagine. Being drunk and vulnerable was a luxury he couldn't afford.

Luigi also seemed to favor the ascetic flavor of life. Long quiet walks in the forests, declining any sort of indulgence, that sort of thing. The brothers couldn't be more opposite in that regard.

"Anything new going on with the Boos?" Mario asked. "I'd imagine not, as they tend to hole up in the most derelict abandoned buildings they can find and never move again."

"Their Houses remain the same year after year, but Boos do get around. At night mostly," Luigi said. "They hear all the goings on of the Kingdom, although I can't say they ever do much with the info. They have no desire or reason to do anything other than mess with the occasional foolhardy traveler who stumbles into their home unannounced."

The pointed remark was not lost on Mario. In his earlier days of travelling, he had had some unpleasant situations with the Boos. Enough so that he steered clear of any interactions with them now. It was hard to cover your back when the things you were trying to avoid were invisible at will. And their idea of a prank seemed to result in the prankee's death more often than not.

"I heard that you seem to have taken a liking to our esteemed Princess of late," Luigi said.

"My, those Boos really do get the latest gossip," Mario said, a bit taken aback. He didn't realize his clandestine spying sessions and unsuccessful wooing attempts had become public knowledge.

"Why do you bring that up? Interested in trying to marry into the royal family yourself?" Mario asked.

"I prefer brunettes," Luigi said. "And I make sure to know what's going on with you. How else would I know when to show up to offer use of my talents?"

Mario laughed. "Oh, are you going to help me win over the sweet, delectable hand of our sugar spun princess?"

"I'm sure we could compare notes on courting techniques," Luigi said. "For you I would simply suggest shutting up more often."

This elicited another laugh from Mario.

"But what brought me here wasn't royal wooings. I heard that Yoshi was seen leaving the city, with a sizeable number of men. If that's not a sign to come home, I don't know what is."

Mario sighed. "Here's the deal," he started. "Bowser has me outnumbered. Outmanned, outgunned. So I have to have him outsmarted if I want to wipe his Paleolithic looking face off this earth."

Mario took a swig of his whiskey. "Things are coming to a head. I need a big move. One fell swoop, execute a grand plan that ends up with me executing him, King of the goddamn Koopas."

"And you have this plan all fleshed out?" Luigi asked. "Or am I here to help you devise it?"

"I have a plan," Mario said. "But this plan is more dependent on you than anything we've ever done before. I want you to infiltrate Bowser's gang by pretending to join them."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The sun had almost risen when Toadsworth began his daily routine.

H exited the modest servant's quarters where all the castle Toads lived. "Devoted servants" was what the people of Mushroom Kingdom called the Toads. Toadsworth wasn't sure if he was a devoted servant or not. Princess Peach was their benevolent and rightful ruler. Doing anything other than serving her made no sense. The Toads knew this.

Toadsworth started his rounds by checking in with the kitchen staff. Of particular note was making sure baking was underway. The Princess absolutely loved cake of all forms, and you never knew when she would call for a slice. Toadsworth liked to personally make sure it was being baked fresh daily. Nothing but the best for the Princess.

Next he took a stroll around the garden. He liked to say it was to make sure the gardeners were keeping everything in order. Really, he just enjoyed a brisk morning walk in the quiet before his day began.

His morning walk nowadays was shorter and slower than it once was. He was getting on in years, as everyone does. The younger servants liked to say that Toadsworth's devotion to the princess would keep him alive forever. He laughed, but truly it was a joy to continue serving the cheerful princess. He planned to watch over her for as long as he was able.

After his morning stroll and chat with the gardeners (they overheard everything and the latest news, big and small), he headed back inside to round up the housekeepers and maintenance Toads. It was a small staff, but they never failed to get their duties done.

A large staff wasn't needed at the castle. It was only the Princess and the Toads living here, no one else. The Princess had no family and no visitors. The castle was quiet and mostly empty. The servants whispered amongst themselves about the Princess, wondering if it was healthy to stay locked away in her castle all day and night. They loved her dearly, they said, but really wasn't it best to go out and about and see the Kingdom she ruled?

Toadsworth knew that those worries were unfounded. The gardeners may overhear everything, but they don't see everything. It was long ago that Toadsworth discovered the Princess wasn't spending every night in the castle. The existential crisis that gripped many a Toad late in life (Am I mushroom? Or am I man?) left him with the occasional insomnia. The gardens were just as beautiful at night as they were in the early morning, and a good stroll could beat the worst insomnia.

The first time he saw her returning to the castle in the ungodly hours of the night, he almost called out to her. A strange feeling restrained him, and instead he just watched.

She looked fine, not disheveled, not under the influence, no one at her side. He didn't see how she got onto the grounds or into the castle. He stood in the garden long after she had left, shaken. Where had the Princess been? At this hour, outside of the grounds? After he gathered his wits, he returned to his quarters, afraid of the questions that he had.

He did not mention it to her or the Toads of the castle. However, whether it was insomnia or curiosity, he would occasionally chance a quiet late night stroll that brought him to the place where he had seen her first return. He would almost always see her. She always looked calm and unharmed. Occasionally she would have something with her, a purchase perhaps? An umbrella in case of a late night rain shower?

Nothing in the castle changed after witnessing these late night returns. It remained quiet, clean, and full of gossipy but good-natured Toads.

As Toadsworth went through his days, lending a hand at dusting or cake tasting, thoughts of the Princess drifted through his head. He did not dwell on them. Who was he, a devoted Toad, to muse on the late nights of a pink frosting laden layer cake of a lady?

Each day progressed as the former, and life went on. Toads were practical creatures, and as long as the castle was maintained, the Toads busy at work, and the Princess's requests happily obliged, Toadsworth was doing his job.

Today he walked towards the Princess's chambers, a serving tray in hand. She always took her breakfast at 9 AM sharp. Coming up on the door, he knocked twice. There was no answer, no candy coated voice calling him to come in.

The same feeling that stopped Toadsworth from calling out to the Princess the first night in the garden spread in him now. Dread. He opened the door and entered the Princess's chambers, the first time in all his years of service without permission.

The windows were wide open, the curtains torn. The room was a wreck, and a note lay on her desk. In a daze, Toadsworth went to the note, read it, and in a moment realized his deepest fear. The Princess was no longer safe. She had been kidnapped.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Fuck!" Mario swore, swinging around and punching his fist straight through the drywall of his office. Kooper stood in the doorway, unsure of how to take his boss's rage. Luigi remained sitting in his chair, unfazed.

"Word on the street is that Bowser is the kidnapper, no doubt of it. Ain't even trying to hide it according to the guys I talked to," Kooper said.

Mario extracted his hand from the drywall and slumped into his chair.

Kooper shifted nervously until Luigi gave him the nod to leave. After the door shut, Mario sighed heavily.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" he said. "This ruins everything."

Getting enraged again he stood up. "I'll kill that overgrown turtle and everyone who follows him! I'm going to strangle the reptilian life out of him myself! This is my town! I run this shit!"

Luigi had barely been there a week, and they were just getting into the nitty gritty details of their Koopa skewering plot.

Luigi let Mario work out his anger through unintelligible swearing and stomping around the room. Mario had always been a little hotheaded. But when he wasn't fiery with rage he was sharp enough to take good advice.

"I don't think this has ruined everything," Luigi said after Mario simmered down. "In fact, it may help us kill two birds with one stone."

"And how is that exactly?" Mario asked, back to slumping in his chair dejectedly.

"You want to dethrone the King of the Koopas and hop on a throne next to the Princess," Luigi said. "Bringing down Bowser will coincide with saving the Princess' life. I'm sure her eternal gratitude would be a good starting point for getting on her good side."

Mario remained slumped.

"And what about all our plans?" he said. "The plans for you, the plan for-"

"Nothing has changed," Luigi interrupted. "Everything we planned for me, everything for the Bros, nothing's changed. Bowser just has the Princess. She may be important to you, but she doesn't help or hurt any of the plans."

Mario began to perk up.

"So you still want to leave next week?" he said. "No changes, nothing?"

"If anything, the kidnapping of the Princess can be part of my supposed reasoning for joining him," Luigi said. "Who wouldn't want to be a part of a successful gang?"

Mario thought for a moment.

"Let's do it," he said. "I think I would portray the dashing hero rather well. A Prince Charming of sorts."

Mario stood up, cheered at the thought of winning over his enigmatic pretty in pink Princess by rushing to her rescue. Even the most dour young lady would go gaga over that.

"Well brother," he said. "Looks like you've done it again. Arriving just in time to make my plan a reality and saving me after a setback."

Luigi shrugged.

"That's what brothers are for," he said.

"Excellent," Mario said. "Let's get the guys together and tell them what's going on. Bowser doesn't know it, but this kidnapping has signed his death warrant."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The following weeks were a flurry of activity. Luigi left, Yoshi came back. The Bros started prepping, getting into position for a coup unlike anything the Kingdom had ever seen. Bower's time was up. Finito.

Luigi had told Mario he'd be in touch, he had his ways. Mario assumed it was the Boos, but was surprised when it was a Shy Guy who came with Luigi's messages.

The Shy Guy always handed over the scribbled notes and left without a word. Typical.

Apparently Bowser had welcomed Luigi with open arms, said he was looking for someone of Luigi's talents. His reputation preceded him.

Luigi became a trusted advisor in a matter of mere weeks. Had to gun down a Bro or two to prove his loyalty, but no matter. Small price to pay.

The coup de grace was that Luigi was going to have Bowser send his guys into the Forest of Illusion. Told him that's where the Bros had been hiding out these last few weeks.

Once they were in, the Bros would pin them in the Forest. Staying on the fringes and picking them off. The Forest would do most of the dirty work for them, Luigi had seen to arranging that.

It was a pretty basic plan, but most of the guys in these gangs weren't that advanced anyway. It would work.

Mario was ready, finally ready to make his move and finish this rivaling gangs bullshit.

Luigi's shy guy kept Mario updated. Mario wasn't going to be at the Forest though. As Yoshi led the charge there, Mario was going to see the King of the Koopas in person.

Luigi had it all set up. He was going to make sure the coast was clear for Mario to essentially kick down he front door, beat Bowser's sorry ass, and rescue the Princess. Luigi had confirmed that Peach was safely being held in the castle.

The day approached. Mario got his guys suited up, Glocked up, and ready to finish a war they never started.

As Mario saw Yoshi leave with his men, he had an involuntary swelling of pride. His Bros, his Bros! Loyalty, ruthlessness, and general badassery was finally paying off. Putting on his freshly tailored knock off suit, his nine millimeter on his hip, and the trademark cap, always the trademark cap, he was ready.

He had arranged transportation to the castle, Luigi had given detailed instructions on how to get there, when, and what to do to complete the perfect entrance.

The time passed quickly, as Mario's mind raced with the perfect lines to say.

"Long time no kill, eh Bowser ol' boy?"

"Hand over the Princess. And also your life."

"Hello. My name is Mario Mario, you captured my lady, prepare to die."

Or maybe best to keep it cool and just silently kill the King and let the Princess swoon.

Soon enough, Mario was at the castle, and with his nervous excitement heightening, he was through the doors as instructed and coming upon the set of rooms where Luigi had planned the showdown.

Mario took a deep breath and opened the door, drawing his gun. As he burst through, some inane catchphrase about to spurt forth, his heart stopped at what he saw.

A lady in pink, standing, waiting for him. Princess Peach.

"Princess!" Mario said, surprised and a little unnerved at this change of plan. "I'm here to save you! Where's Bowser?"

The Princess smiled, seemingly unconcerned at her supposed danger.

"How kind of you to come rescue little old me. But Mario, I'm surprised you didn't see this sooner. There is no Bowser."

The nervous excitement in Mario's stomach quickly starting turning into a heavy feeling of dread.

"I don't understand," he said. "If there's no Bowser, why are you here? And where's my brother?"

She laughed.

"Well I guess there is a Bowser, in a way. I had to find a more effective way of running my kingdom, being trapped in a Toad Town castle was no way to rule. 'Bowser' was just a more effective way to get things done," she said. "And as for your brother, well here he comes now."

Sensing someone coming up behind him, Mario began to turn around, ready to shoot. He was much too slow though. Luigi had grabbed him from behind, a familiar foul smelling cloth jammed in his face. Within seconds, Mario felt himself weaken, and he fell to the floor.

Luigi stepped over him and walked to where the Princess stood.

"Why?" Mario said, his voice already hoarsening from the poison mushroom extract that had been soaking the cloth.

"Why Luigi? You're my brother! My only brother!"

"I seize opportunities when I see them," Luigi said, unconcerned that Mario lay dying on the floor in front of him.

"Your Princess gave me an excellent offer," he said. The glance exchanged between Luigi and Peach made Mario's stomach turn.

"Why?" he said again, weakly. "Why?"

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. A moment of silence, then a gurgle and a cough followed by a healthy amount of blood.

Stunned, Mario looked over at Peach. Her expression of surprise was immediately replaced by one that mirrored Luigi's She fell to the floor as Luigi did the same.

Behind the bodies stood Yoshi, holding a long, sickly looking knife.

"Yoshi," Mario said, gasping. "Thank Lakitu you're here. They got me with a poison mushroom!"

Yoshi remained standing over the bodies.

"Yoshi, quick!" Mario said. "I need antidote."

Yoshi slowly walked over to where Mario lay.

"Yoshi?" Mario asked weakly.

Yoshi looked down on him, no expression on his face. The cold look in his eyes was unlike anything Mario had ever seen.

They stayed like that for a full minute, Yoshi wordlessly standing over Mario's failing body.

After a minute, Yoshi turned, and walked away slowly, dropping the bloodied knife carelessly on Luigi's body as he neatly stepped over it.

The last thing Mario saw as his vision faded was his former right hand man leave him to die, with only the company of the bodies of his only brother and would-be, pretty-in-pink lover.

The End


End file.
